Anal sex is still something that seems to be kept behind closed doors, and this can make it hard to learn about if you’re thinking of experimenting. The best thing about anal sex is that it can be for anyone, as we all have an anus! It doesn’t matter if you’re in a hetero, bi, or gay relationship, with the right amount of lubricant and patience everyone can be enjoying themselves. In this short article we’ll cover the basics that you need to know about before getting started.
What exactly is anal sex?
When you say anal sex to most people, they’d commonly think it is only anal penetration with the penis. While this isn’t wrong, it’s only the tip of the iceberg! Anal sex includes rimming (rubbing the anus with your fingers or tongue), penetration with vibrators, fingers, butt plugs, or a strap-on. Before starting any anal sex, it is best to discuss this with your partner as this type of activity is not for everyone. However, you can explore anal sex by yourself, which is an excellent way to figure out what you like!
Introducing anal sex into your regular sex life
As with anything relating to sex, you should talk to your partner about what you’re thinking. People can have strong feeling about things like anal sex, and you should never ‘accidently’ have anal sex. Try to broach the subject in a setting that is not in the bedroom, talk about what you're thinking in an open and honest discussion. If you both feel the same way, then it may be time to get started. As we said before the best thing about anal sex is well all have one, and fellas some women find it incredibly empowering to put on strap-on and get to work!
How to get started with anal sex?
So, you've discussed everything with your partner and they’re all good to go? That’s great! To make sure everyone is enjoying themselves, here’s our quick guide to having the best anal sex experience:
- Lube, lube, and more lube! Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce any natural lubrication. If you have anal sex without added lubricant you can easily tear the skin around and inside the anus; which can bring a quick end to a good time!
- Wear protection, even if you’re both cleared from any sexually transmitted infections (STIs). As the skin inside the anus can tear easily, bacteria can pass from one person to another and this may cause an infection.
- Relaxation is key! Your anus is basically a large muscle, when you’re tense this muscle contracts; this can make anal sex more difficult and therefore painful. Once you’re relaxed the muscles loosen and it’ll make your experience much more pleasurable.
- Keep it clean. The anus, just like the vagina, contains bacteria, and while it is contained to this area it’s all good. But, spreading it around to places it doesn't belong can cause havoc. Make sure you clean before, after, and during sex.
Cleaning using a douche
If you’re concerned about any possible messes during anal sex, and if these are your first times it’s totally understandable, then you can use products to help keep things clean. In this case we’d highly recommend buying a reusable douche. These will use water to clean everything and make the entire experience much less messy. For the best results you want to clean the end of the douche before starting and using it with water that is cooler than lukewarm (the sensitive mucosal lining can be burnt easily with warm water). You can use some lube and your finger to get things started, and then insert the end of the douche. Pump the bulb to slowly squirt the liquid, hold the liquid inside you for a few seconds before releasing, and then repeat until all the water from the bulb has been used. After you’re finished have a quick shower to get everything cleaned up and dry. Many people find using a douche is the best way to stay clean during anal sex, and that can be the difference between having a good time or not!
What is anal sex like?
Anal sex should be a pleasurable experience. If something is not feeling good, or you’re experiencing a lot of pain, it might be best to stop and try to figure out what was causing it and what you can do to change it. Here are some common questions and answers about the anal sex:
- Does it hurt? Yes and no, it may be uncomfortable for the first couple of times, but that usually goes away after you learn what position suits you best. You can use small toys until you feel that you’re ready for something larger.
- Will I bleed? You may bleed the first few times that you have anal sex, but this should stop in future sessions. If you find there is a lot of blood, or you feel uncomfortable, or you bleed every time you have anal sex, you can seek advice from your doctor.
- Will I poop normally? Yes, you may have a large sensation to poop immediately afterwards. But it will not stop you from being able to hold your poop, or for pooping normally in the future.
Can you orgasm during anal sex?
Absolutely! For some people anal sex and anal play can be highly erotic and this can result in an orgasm. The anus is covered in nerve endings so the feelings in this area can be incredibly sensitive to touch. To reach climax some women may need to have the clitoris stimulated at the same time as they are having anal sex; however, this does not work for all, and many women prefer either oral, or vaginal penetrative sex to reach full orgasm. For men, the tightness of the anus around the penis can be very pleasing. Anal sex for men can also stimulate the prostate gland and this can intensify their orgasm.